“There’s no reason to use dental floss unless you’re trying to strangle someone with a very weak neck.”
—Count Olaf, The Slippery Slope (via count-olaf-the-impresario)
“If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.”
The Ersatz Elevator; Lemony Snicket (via mylittlebookofquotes)

 ”Dearest Children,

Since we have been abroad we have missed you all so much. Certain events have compelled us to extend our travels. One day, where you’re older, you will learn all about the people we’ve befriended and the dangers we have faced. At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may, in fact, be the first steps of a journey. We hope to have you back in our arms soon, darlings; but in case this letter arrives before our return, know that we love you. It fills us with pride to know that, no matter what happens in this life, you three will take care of each other with kindness, and bravery and selflessness as you always have. And remember one thing my darlings and never forget it: that no matter where we are, know that as long as you have each other, you have your family and you are home.

Your loving parents.”

(Source: lemonysnicketing)

blessedbutterflies:


7(9)/∞ favourite characters: The Baudelaire orphans [A Series of Unfortunate Events]
And remember one thing, my darlings, and never forget it: that no matter where we are, know that as long as you have each other, you have your family and you are home.

blessedbutterflies:

7(9)/∞ favourite characters: The Baudelaire orphans [A Series of Unfortunate Events]
And remember one thing, my darlings, and never forget it: 
that no matter where we are, know that as long as you have each other
,
you have your family and you are home.

You gotta win two bets or you lose the whole thing. For Pat Sr. to win, the birds gotta beat the Cowboys plus Pat and Tiffany gotta get at least a five at the dance. That’s the parlay.

(Source: garfys, via queen-poehler)

Now That’s What I Call Tumblr

(Source: sydney-rakestraw, via storynerd)

When someone who just started reading tells you their favorite character and you know they’re going to die soon

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

territorialcreep:

totally-relatable:

image

i have never seen this gif used more perfectly

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

(via storynerd)

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